Indio,CA--->Riverside,CA---->HOME SWEET HOME
9:30am:
Wake up and discover Fran writing yesterdays blog. Progress. (BTW this post is about 3 weeks late)
10:00am:
Clean up and pack up all my stuff :/
10:30am:
Enjoy one last bagel at the grandparents. Man am I going to miss these onion bagels. My mom isn't even hear to yell at me about how fattening they are!
11:30am:
Panera Bread, Indio CA
This is it guys! The moment you all (and myself included) have been waiting for. The GLORIOUS and FABULOUS GALE!!!!! Let me tell you this--the way Fran described her is EXACTLY how she walked into Panera Bread. Lime Green Shirt, shorts, LIME GREEN and HOT PINK sandals, and PINK Nails. This woman is a fashion god. (Also reminds me of my Halloween costume circa 2008..wink wink)
1:00pm:
Its still a pleasant 110* outside and we decide to get our nails done. Again with the "wud u lik cristalll gelll?" No I would not like cristallll gellll. Just a manicure please. I choose french tip. Gale chooses a flashy pale pink color. Is anyone in this joint surprised?
1:45pm:
I am done early. Just waiting for everyone else to finish their crystalll gelll and eyebrow wax. I on the other hand would like to keep my eyebrows thank you very much!
2:00pm:
Back at Gramps house. Is it possible to stuff one more onion bagel into this body?..I didn't think so.
2:15pm:
Frantically call every Italian joint in Palm Springs County searching for cannolis. Do they not understand that it is the LAST day of our trip? I mean what kind of bloggers would we be if we didn't find a cannoli on the GREAT CANNOLI SEARCH?!? The first place says "Sure we got cannolis!" Perfect, I say. "However, I am missing one ingredient and it should be delivered by the end of the week." Not so perfect, thanks anyways. The next lady says yes we have cannolis and we are open! Perfect. "MS. Pelka Get the car started!!"
3:00pm:
Head off to Palm Springs which is conveniently on the way home. After driving past the destination and driving back about 2-3 miles we have finally found our place! Im telling you this place was not any bigger than the bathroom at my house. However this little Italian lady served us the best cannolis we have ever had! Inserted below is video footage of the little Italian lady making the cannolis right in front of us! How could we be so luck?!?
5:00pm:
After devouring our cannolis (and my tiramisu) we head off to meet my parents so they can pick me up and take me home. We meet them at a Carls Jr. parking lot where instead of my father helping with the luggage he is checking his pockets for any coupons he may have for a $6 burger. Oi vey!
5:15pm:
After begging Ms. Pelka to not make my parents take me home, they finally drag me in the car and we are heading to good ol' San Juan Capistrano. Sure enough, 3 minutes into the car ride home I hear "YOU F#@(#*( BASTARD!" Awwww. Home Sweet Home. How I have missed you :)
Thanks for reading our blog everyone. We plan to continue our blog about our many adventures. Be sure to catch Fran and Rosie's adventure across the ocean in beautiful Hawaii..I hear they are on the hunt for Dog the Bounty Hunter..this could get very interesting :)
Steph
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Day 8
Day 8
Indio, Ca --> Indio, Ca
8:00am
Wake up... I'm not sick anymore!!! Time to eat!
9:00am-1:00pm
Blog.
TV.
Enjoy air conditioning.
1:15pm
Leave to go see Inception at The River :) Break a sweat on the way to the car. FML
2:00-4:30pm
Inception was pretty cool. I mean, Leo is damn sexy.. Juno wasn't preggers... and the top WAS ABOUT TO FALL. I think.
4:55pm
grab a date shake and the famous Shields Date Shake place .. thingy.. yummmm
5:00pm
Shmooze with grandpa.
Read.
Bravo.
7:00pm
Decide to go grab dinner at P.F. Changs and maybe pick up a cannoli on the way.
7:45pm
We are now almost out of gas and lost. My phone says I'm in Hemet and Steph's phone says that we should make a 10 mile loop to get back to the exact same place.
8:00pm
We finally get gas (we made it!) and find ourselves at the cannoli place... CLOSED? well that's a surprise. Who knew this cannoli search would be so dang difficult!
8:10pm
Find parking at the River and force ourselves out into the heat. Is that P.F. Changs or a mirage? Should I walk through this water fountain? I'M MELTINGGGGGGG.
8:20pm
Hello Taye Diggs look alike waiter. I love P.F. Changs.
8:45pm
Fastest food coma of my life. Steph and I have to pack up half of our food and head home.. err I mean head to Golden Spoon.
9:00pm
Relax by the tv. I love summer (and air conditioning!)!
80* indoors never felt so great,
Francine
Indio, Ca --> Indio, Ca
8:00am
Wake up... I'm not sick anymore!!! Time to eat!
9:00am-1:00pm
Blog.
TV.
Enjoy air conditioning.
1:15pm
Leave to go see Inception at The River :) Break a sweat on the way to the car. FML
2:00-4:30pm
Inception was pretty cool. I mean, Leo is damn sexy.. Juno wasn't preggers... and the top WAS ABOUT TO FALL. I think.
4:55pm
grab a date shake and the famous Shields Date Shake place .. thingy.. yummmm
5:00pm
Shmooze with grandpa.
Read.
Bravo.
7:00pm
Decide to go grab dinner at P.F. Changs and maybe pick up a cannoli on the way.
7:45pm
We are now almost out of gas and lost. My phone says I'm in Hemet and Steph's phone says that we should make a 10 mile loop to get back to the exact same place.
8:00pm
We finally get gas (we made it!) and find ourselves at the cannoli place... CLOSED? well that's a surprise. Who knew this cannoli search would be so dang difficult!
8:10pm
Find parking at the River and force ourselves out into the heat. Is that P.F. Changs or a mirage? Should I walk through this water fountain? I'M MELTINGGGGGGG.
8:20pm
Hello Taye Diggs look alike waiter. I love P.F. Changs.
8:45pm
Fastest food coma of my life. Steph and I have to pack up half of our food and head home.. err I mean head to Golden Spoon.
9:00pm
Relax by the tv. I love summer (and air conditioning!)!
80* indoors never felt so great,
Francine
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Day 7
Day 7
Indio, CA-→Indio, CA
9:00am:
Wake up. So hot. Must..get..into..the pool.
9:30am:
Put on my bathing suit, sunscreen, sunglasses and grandma sun hat. I am prepared for this hot sun!
9:32am:
Walk outside. Are you kidding? Why is it sooo hot? Hurry Fran, I need to get into this pool.
9:40am:
Ok..the water looks so refreshing. But think again. The water is just as hot. How do all these old people do it?
10:45am:
Fran and I decide that we might as well just go into the indoor pool because I am not working on my tan in the shade anyway. So, the water is freezing. I’ve decided that I am not going to be happy here either way you look at it.
12:00pm-5:00pm:
Fran decides that getting sick with the flu is the perfect way to spend a Saturday in the desert. I spend the day listening to her throw up/talking naps/eating.
5:00pm:
Find a Golden Spoon in La Quinta! OMGGGG its like home away from home! Of course they are out of 3 flavors and they give small portions. They just can't swirl like I do. Amateurs.
5:00pm-11:00pm:
I spend the night eating delicious Italian food. Then, while Fran goes to bed I stay up and watch E!: Lindsey’s Road to Jail. But everyone knows I know everything about that anyways. I mean honestly why am I not hosting this shiz?
Well people, it looks like Indio just isn’t providing the same fun that Sedona did.
Until next time,
Steph
Indio, CA-→Indio, CA
9:00am:
Wake up. So hot. Must..get..into..the pool.
9:30am:
Put on my bathing suit, sunscreen, sunglasses and grandma sun hat. I am prepared for this hot sun!
9:32am:
Walk outside. Are you kidding? Why is it sooo hot? Hurry Fran, I need to get into this pool.
9:40am:
Ok..the water looks so refreshing. But think again. The water is just as hot. How do all these old people do it?
10:45am:
Fran and I decide that we might as well just go into the indoor pool because I am not working on my tan in the shade anyway. So, the water is freezing. I’ve decided that I am not going to be happy here either way you look at it.
12:00pm-5:00pm:
Fran decides that getting sick with the flu is the perfect way to spend a Saturday in the desert. I spend the day listening to her throw up/talking naps/eating.
5:00pm:
Find a Golden Spoon in La Quinta! OMGGGG its like home away from home! Of course they are out of 3 flavors and they give small portions. They just can't swirl like I do. Amateurs.
5:00pm-11:00pm:
I spend the night eating delicious Italian food. Then, while Fran goes to bed I stay up and watch E!: Lindsey’s Road to Jail. But everyone knows I know everything about that anyways. I mean honestly why am I not hosting this shiz?
Well people, it looks like Indio just isn’t providing the same fun that Sedona did.
Until next time,
Steph
Day 6
Day 6
Phoenix, Az ----> Indio, Ca
8:00am
Wake up! Today is the day! Last Chance! I feel like a kid on Christmas morning.
8:15am
Let's go to the lobby to get breakfast. OMG IT'S 90* out already. Gross.
8:20am
You can't ruin my mood you gross breakfast!
9:00am
Pack up the car and drive to Last Chance!
9:30am
Arrive at Last Chance. Now for those of you who live under a rock and don't know the glory that is Nordstrom Last Chance, you're about to get a brief tutorial. Have you ever heard of Nordstrom? If not, please leave my blog! Well Nordstrom has a very lax return policy and you can basically return anything you want (you shouldn't though because it gets taken out of the employees commission!). They guarantee that nothing is sold that has been previously owned by someone else, so all of the returned merchandise goes straight to Last Chance in Phoenix, the only store of its kind. Now a lot of these items have minimal damage while others are stained, ripped, partially destroyed. Once Rosie had to accept the return of pants that had been peed in, so you catch my drift. Everything is resold at Last Chance for a fraction of the price it is initially sold for at Nordstrom.
9:32am
Let me paint you a picture: Racks of clothes, 40-50 people, gates, barriers. The store is shut off by gates that roll down from the ceiling. Inside the gates are large barriers which prevent you from seeing into the store. Secretive!! There are a few racks in the waiting area, mostly shorts and some khakis. They're placed here to distract people and hopefully prevent shoppers from going crazy with anticipation.
9:55am
OMG IT'S ALMOST OPEN!! I'm basically peeing my pants with excitement. There are now a good 100 people waiting for it to open. Steph says she is dying to find some Uggs and I tell her where to go. We plan our attack, these shopping carts should help.
10:00am
A woman descends the stairs to tell us the rules (no running, pushing, etc.) and the specials for the day. Shoes size 6 1/2 are 50% off? Lucky mom and her small feet! No one can hear this lady and we all just wanna get inside.. LET US IN!!
10:01am
The gates slowly rise and everyone waits patiently before the guards wave their hands to allow us in! OMG WE'RE IN AHHHHHH!!!
10:02am
Let the shopping begin!! Sidenote: Why are there so many babies, children, and pregnant people here. I mean honestly! I have a cart (weapon) and they have side-by-side strollers? This place is not for the weak at heart and Steph and I show no mercy. At least I know the pregnant people won't be shopping in my section.
10:03am
Realize there are no Uggs. Literally 0. Last time I was here I got 4 pairs. Stephanie has the best luck.
1:00pm
Exit Last Chance. What is that burning plastic smell you ask? Oh, it's my credit card. My feet are blistered, my arms are sore, and I'm ready for a nap. V-I-C-T-O-R-Y! Steph got 3 things. I got 26. I think I'm just good at bargain shopping. The best purchase of the day? My brand new (literally they show NO signs of ever being worn) black sequin Tory Burch flats. I mean, these things are normally $235 and I got them for $70. Luckiest girl in the world. I even got some patent leather ones for rosie :).
1:05pm
115*= disgustinggggggg. I feel like I'm in hell. Gross. How do people live in this weather! Time to get food, we just shopped for 3 hours.
1:30pm
Find the closest Subway. Invite Jenny to come have lunch with us, I've missed that girl. We catch up on fond memories: Save the Last DAnce and Big Daddy. Those were the dayssssss.
1:35pm
Look around Subway and see some GNARLY looking people. I love how they have ridiculous immigration laws yet these nasty people are allowed to live here.. Ohhh Arizona.
3:30pm
Why is it still getting hotter? I hope those billion dollar candles from Sedona haven't melted into one big wax blob in the trunk. Let's get the eff outta here... Arizona, you might be pretty, but you are too hot for this Santa Barbara girl.
4:00pm
On our way to Indio. Even with the air conditioning at full blast it's hard to cool down. 3 1/2 hours in the car? boo.
7:30pm
Indio, Ca
99* of course it's just as hot here as it is in Phoenix. We hear it was also 95* in San Diego today. Wasn't it just overcast and freezing for the past 6 months? weird.
8:00pm
Unpack all of our Last Chance bags, oo and ah over my new Tory's, and decide on dinner.
8:15pm
On our way to Souplantation. All you can eat? Yes Please.
9:30pm
Get back to my grandpa's, unpack a little, get the pjs on.
10:00pm
Oh yes, the Danielle vs. other real housewives of NJ hair pulling episode. yesssss
Gnite!
FRANCINE
Phoenix, Az ----> Indio, Ca
8:00am
Wake up! Today is the day! Last Chance! I feel like a kid on Christmas morning.
8:15am
Let's go to the lobby to get breakfast. OMG IT'S 90* out already. Gross.
8:20am
You can't ruin my mood you gross breakfast!
9:00am
Pack up the car and drive to Last Chance!
9:30am
Arrive at Last Chance. Now for those of you who live under a rock and don't know the glory that is Nordstrom Last Chance, you're about to get a brief tutorial. Have you ever heard of Nordstrom? If not, please leave my blog! Well Nordstrom has a very lax return policy and you can basically return anything you want (you shouldn't though because it gets taken out of the employees commission!). They guarantee that nothing is sold that has been previously owned by someone else, so all of the returned merchandise goes straight to Last Chance in Phoenix, the only store of its kind. Now a lot of these items have minimal damage while others are stained, ripped, partially destroyed. Once Rosie had to accept the return of pants that had been peed in, so you catch my drift. Everything is resold at Last Chance for a fraction of the price it is initially sold for at Nordstrom.
9:32am
Let me paint you a picture: Racks of clothes, 40-50 people, gates, barriers. The store is shut off by gates that roll down from the ceiling. Inside the gates are large barriers which prevent you from seeing into the store. Secretive!! There are a few racks in the waiting area, mostly shorts and some khakis. They're placed here to distract people and hopefully prevent shoppers from going crazy with anticipation.
9:55am
OMG IT'S ALMOST OPEN!! I'm basically peeing my pants with excitement. There are now a good 100 people waiting for it to open. Steph says she is dying to find some Uggs and I tell her where to go. We plan our attack, these shopping carts should help.
10:00am
A woman descends the stairs to tell us the rules (no running, pushing, etc.) and the specials for the day. Shoes size 6 1/2 are 50% off? Lucky mom and her small feet! No one can hear this lady and we all just wanna get inside.. LET US IN!!
10:01am
The gates slowly rise and everyone waits patiently before the guards wave their hands to allow us in! OMG WE'RE IN AHHHHHH!!!
10:02am
Let the shopping begin!! Sidenote: Why are there so many babies, children, and pregnant people here. I mean honestly! I have a cart (weapon) and they have side-by-side strollers? This place is not for the weak at heart and Steph and I show no mercy. At least I know the pregnant people won't be shopping in my section.
10:03am
Realize there are no Uggs. Literally 0. Last time I was here I got 4 pairs. Stephanie has the best luck.
1:00pm
Exit Last Chance. What is that burning plastic smell you ask? Oh, it's my credit card. My feet are blistered, my arms are sore, and I'm ready for a nap. V-I-C-T-O-R-Y! Steph got 3 things. I got 26. I think I'm just good at bargain shopping. The best purchase of the day? My brand new (literally they show NO signs of ever being worn) black sequin Tory Burch flats. I mean, these things are normally $235 and I got them for $70. Luckiest girl in the world. I even got some patent leather ones for rosie :).
1:05pm
115*= disgustinggggggg. I feel like I'm in hell. Gross. How do people live in this weather! Time to get food, we just shopped for 3 hours.
1:30pm
Find the closest Subway. Invite Jenny to come have lunch with us, I've missed that girl. We catch up on fond memories: Save the Last DAnce and Big Daddy. Those were the dayssssss.
1:35pm
Look around Subway and see some GNARLY looking people. I love how they have ridiculous immigration laws yet these nasty people are allowed to live here.. Ohhh Arizona.
3:30pm
Why is it still getting hotter? I hope those billion dollar candles from Sedona haven't melted into one big wax blob in the trunk. Let's get the eff outta here... Arizona, you might be pretty, but you are too hot for this Santa Barbara girl.
4:00pm
On our way to Indio. Even with the air conditioning at full blast it's hard to cool down. 3 1/2 hours in the car? boo.
7:30pm
Indio, Ca
99* of course it's just as hot here as it is in Phoenix. We hear it was also 95* in San Diego today. Wasn't it just overcast and freezing for the past 6 months? weird.
8:00pm
Unpack all of our Last Chance bags, oo and ah over my new Tory's, and decide on dinner.
8:15pm
On our way to Souplantation. All you can eat? Yes Please.
9:30pm
Get back to my grandpa's, unpack a little, get the pjs on.
10:00pm
Oh yes, the Danielle vs. other real housewives of NJ hair pulling episode. yesssss
Gnite!
FRANCINE
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Day 5
Sedona,AZ---->Phoenix,AZ
9:00am:
Wake up. Must...get...coffee....
9:30am:
Much better. After sipping a large coffee in the 89* weather, we head back to the room to get ready for the day.
10:00am:
Check out of the room and head to our first spot of the day. McDonald's! Why McDonald's may you ask? Well that is because this McDonald's is the only one in the world that does not have golden arches! I mean who knew? The reason they do not is because the city of Sedona thought that the golden arches would conflict with the backdrop of the beautiful red mountains. So McDonald's and Sedona settled on turquoise arches!
10:15am:
Head back into town. Hey look..it's a really cool candle store where the candles glow different colors when lit. Wait is this deja vu or have we already been here before? Must..purchase..more..candles...
12:30pm:
Fran and I are beyond starving because the peach and coffee I had at 9am is just not cutting it. We decide on the Wildflower Bread Company for lunch. Fresh Bread? Check. Cucumber salad that is beyond pathetic? Check. Same screaming children from the Mexican restaurant last night? Check. You cant make this stuff up.
1:00pm:
After debating if we should buy more candles, we decide that we need to save room for Last Chance and take off towards Phoenix.
3:30pm:
Phoenix, AZ
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! Someone turn the oven off! So its a very pleasant 112* outside when we step out of our vehicles. At least we can check in right away. Wait..what is this? You lost our reservation Best Western? And your elevators are out of order? Don't worry I'll just chill outside while you fix this little problem. OMGGGGGG its now 113*.
4:15pm:
Hell, Get Me Out of Here
Francine has this great idea about ditching the "normal" malls and heading straight towards the discount centers. Im all for a bargain, but a JCPennys Last Chance? I mean isn't their normal merchandise on it's last leg? Do I really need to go in with you? Can't I just wait in the car? OMGGGG its now 114*.
5:00pm:
So by now I've seen Neiman Marcus Last Chance, BeBe discount center, and a discount nail salon. "Wud u liiike "discount" crystal gel?"
5:15pm:
Giant garage sale store in the middle of this discount mall. Im talking a place where you can buy slot machines, Nestle strawberry syrup, and used/old Tampax. Fran, honestly?
6:00pm:
By this time Ive seen some serious contenders for MTV's 16/17/18 and Pregnant. Ive also seen the same amount of pretzel joints in this place. Im not even kidding. There must be 4 Auntie Annes and 6 Wetzel Pretzels.
6:15pm:
After bleaching my hands from any diseases I may have caught on this journey we decide to head back to our room because the large pretzel with cheese dip has left me starving.
7:30pm:
We pull up to this joint called Oregano's Pizza. Crazy amount of people waiting to eat at this joint. 45 minute wait to eat inside you say? Oh don't worry about it we can eat outside in the now 115* weather.
8:15pm:
At this point I have consumed: Deep fried ravioli stuffed with a jalapeno cheese, stuffed artichoke hearts, sweet potato fries, a HUGE salad, and cheesy garlic bread.
What is that you say? You have a large cookie plate smothered in ice cream? We will take one! Do you also happen to have a barf bag?
8:20pm:
Fran's mother: "I make pukeuppi in my pazooki". Classic.
8:30pm:
Our waiter Adam agreed to be our guest blogger for the day! Make sure you check out his video :)
8:45pm:
Driving down the ghetto streets of Phoenix, we spot a DRIVE THRU LIQUOR STORE!! None of us have ever seen anything like this! Wait, isn't that like an automatic DUI?!
9:30pm:
We decide that going clubbing in downtown Phoenix in the 135* weather may not be the best idea. Plus I mean I need to save energy for the 4 hour shopping spree that is "Nordstrom Last Chance".
Signing off from the weather of Hell,
Steph
9:00am:
Wake up. Must...get...coffee....
9:30am:
Much better. After sipping a large coffee in the 89* weather, we head back to the room to get ready for the day.
10:00am:
Check out of the room and head to our first spot of the day. McDonald's! Why McDonald's may you ask? Well that is because this McDonald's is the only one in the world that does not have golden arches! I mean who knew? The reason they do not is because the city of Sedona thought that the golden arches would conflict with the backdrop of the beautiful red mountains. So McDonald's and Sedona settled on turquoise arches!
10:15am:
Head back into town. Hey look..it's a really cool candle store where the candles glow different colors when lit. Wait is this deja vu or have we already been here before? Must..purchase..more..candles...
12:30pm:
Fran and I are beyond starving because the peach and coffee I had at 9am is just not cutting it. We decide on the Wildflower Bread Company for lunch. Fresh Bread? Check. Cucumber salad that is beyond pathetic? Check. Same screaming children from the Mexican restaurant last night? Check. You cant make this stuff up.
1:00pm:
After debating if we should buy more candles, we decide that we need to save room for Last Chance and take off towards Phoenix.
3:30pm:
Phoenix, AZ
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! Someone turn the oven off! So its a very pleasant 112* outside when we step out of our vehicles. At least we can check in right away. Wait..what is this? You lost our reservation Best Western? And your elevators are out of order? Don't worry I'll just chill outside while you fix this little problem. OMGGGGGG its now 113*.
4:15pm:
Hell, Get Me Out of Here
Francine has this great idea about ditching the "normal" malls and heading straight towards the discount centers. Im all for a bargain, but a JCPennys Last Chance? I mean isn't their normal merchandise on it's last leg? Do I really need to go in with you? Can't I just wait in the car? OMGGGG its now 114*.
5:00pm:
So by now I've seen Neiman Marcus Last Chance, BeBe discount center, and a discount nail salon. "Wud u liiike "discount" crystal gel?"
5:15pm:
Giant garage sale store in the middle of this discount mall. Im talking a place where you can buy slot machines, Nestle strawberry syrup, and used/old Tampax. Fran, honestly?
6:00pm:
By this time Ive seen some serious contenders for MTV's 16/17/18 and Pregnant. Ive also seen the same amount of pretzel joints in this place. Im not even kidding. There must be 4 Auntie Annes and 6 Wetzel Pretzels.
6:15pm:
After bleaching my hands from any diseases I may have caught on this journey we decide to head back to our room because the large pretzel with cheese dip has left me starving.
7:30pm:
We pull up to this joint called Oregano's Pizza. Crazy amount of people waiting to eat at this joint. 45 minute wait to eat inside you say? Oh don't worry about it we can eat outside in the now 115* weather.
8:15pm:
At this point I have consumed: Deep fried ravioli stuffed with a jalapeno cheese, stuffed artichoke hearts, sweet potato fries, a HUGE salad, and cheesy garlic bread.
What is that you say? You have a large cookie plate smothered in ice cream? We will take one! Do you also happen to have a barf bag?
8:20pm:
Fran's mother: "I make pukeuppi in my pazooki". Classic.
8:30pm:
Our waiter Adam agreed to be our guest blogger for the day! Make sure you check out his video :)
8:45pm:
Driving down the ghetto streets of Phoenix, we spot a DRIVE THRU LIQUOR STORE!! None of us have ever seen anything like this! Wait, isn't that like an automatic DUI?!
9:30pm:
We decide that going clubbing in downtown Phoenix in the 135* weather may not be the best idea. Plus I mean I need to save energy for the 4 hour shopping spree that is "Nordstrom Last Chance".
Signing off from the weather of Hell,
Steph
DAY 4
Day 4
Albuquerque, NM ---->Sedona, Az
7:00am
Woken up by Scott, my cousin, packing and getting ready to leave for the airport.. who will we torture now?
7:10am
Continental breakfast.. We spot an Indian on crack getting up every 5 seconds for more food. "Um there is now orange juice all over the floor." Who are these people.
7:30 am
Scott leaves for the airport.. bye bye Andy Dick! Yes, more room in the car!
8:00 am
Back to the room to get ready for breakfast #2 with Steph's Aunt Virginia. Steph's convo with her dad on the phone: "I don't even know what she looks like." "Just hold up a sign with her name on it"
9:00am
Aunt Virginia is nice. She tells us all about her job at Wal Mart, her 15 pets, and the fact that she doesn't use computers ever. We're feeling lucky already today: It's Pie Rush Wednesday at the diner! Free pie with every meal after 10am. If I had a nickel for every time I said "You can't make this shit up..."
11:00am
Depart this hell hole of a hotel and get on the road to Sedona, Az. Albuquerque sure is a joke town. 6 more hours in the car? And I have to sit in the front? ughhh
12:30pm
Gallup, NM
Stop at the McDonalds to pee and get snack sized McFlurrys. Why can't you drink out of the McFlurry spoons? I don't get it. A bum asks me for money. Sorry I just spent it on a McFlurry. In the parking lot a kid is staring at me through his binocular shaped hands. Of course I put my hands up and make binoculars.. Steph does the same.
2:00pm
Winslow, Az
Pee at a truck stop. They sell cut off denim shirts turned into vests? Larry the Cable Guy heaven. "You girls sure are purrrrty." Sorry, truckers aren't my type. HOW DID THE BINOCULAR KID GET HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Unbelievable. I'm waiting for the Amish to jump out.
2:30pm
The guys in NM told us that Sedona was a mecca of mysticism. Steph googles Sedona... vortices? psychics? sage? deja vu? forces? Where are we going?
4:00pm
Sedona, Az
Cute hotel right in the middle of Sedona. The red rocks are amazingly beautiful. We get a map of the best vortices in Sedona. Screw star maps, we have a vortex map.
4:30pm
Back to the candle shop in Sedona. We buy some amazing candles! This place is one of a kind! what? they have one in San Diego? of course.
5:30pm
Mexican food sounds good so we head to Oaxaca. Looks legit. We order margaritas and baked chips (we're healthy remember?)
5:40pm
How did we get chewy stale chips? Waitress: "They're supposed to taste like that." Send those back and get the fried ones.
6:00pm
The empty tables around us fill up. Please dont tell me that bug eyed lady is going to let her 3 kids cry and scream for the next hour. OOMMGGG!!! I find shredded beef in my salad, hidden under some lettuce. Being a vegetarian is hard. Looks like we'll have to send back item #2. Everyone around us is doing the same. My only thought: Who will get food poisoning first?
6:15pm
Still giving evil eyes to the family of neglected screaming children. Unreal.
6:20pm
We miss Scott so we decide to text him to see what other celebrities he hasn't heard of..
Spencer Pratt? No
Kim Kardashian? kinda
6:30pm
Shop around a little. We go to a crystal shop to pick up a crystal- I mean, it's clear they have magical powers and we have to get some. As soon as I pick one up.. "The crystal has chosen you!" Well, looks like I have to buy it now. The crazy crystal lady tells us all about how to wash and care for our new crystal. I'm sorry, did I just adopt a child? "I wish we would've video taped your crystal information for our blog!" lady: "Well I have my own agenda so I wouldn't have allowed that." She must be hiding from the po-po.
6:32pm
Walk out of crystal shop and come face to face with crying baby family. Great, second de-ja vu of the day. The mecca of mysticism strikes again.
6:40pm
We enter the vortex shop and decide to get psychic readings. Steph asks about her career future (fingers crossed for no more golden spoon swirling!) and I ask about my love life. The psychic keeps closing her eyes and pausing. Mini strokes? Wake up lady I'm paying big bucks for this! The first love card I draw from the deck is a joker. God laughs. Flip one card. Close eyes. Flip another card. "WOW there is so much going on here!" Really? Because I just see that you're losing at solitaire.
7:20pm
Buy some rocks.. They each have a different made-up meaning. I get the love ones and steph gets the pregnancy ones. Don't ask. As I pay, another crystal crazy tells me that my eyes are unbelievably beautiful. According to her I shouldn't settle for any man who isn't rich or good-looking. I knew I was on the right path!
7:30 pm
Head back to the hotel. Steph runs up to the balcony to see the sun set- apparently this is the best time to feel the vortex. I'm parched so I head to the vending machine to get some water. $1.25 for a water? "Take my crinkled dollar, stupid machine!!!" grrr Push the button anyway and 2 water bottles come out. Two waters for $1.00??? VORTEX!!!!!
8:00pm
Jacuzzi. We take our crystals.
9:00pm
Get ready to go out.. What exactly is the attire for a vortex bar? Should I wear my crystal around my neck?
9:15pm
Walk to a martini bar.. it's dark "Where are we??" "Don't worry I have a flashlight app on my phone!' Follow the music to the bar. Order drinks and wander around until we find a seat. Picture this: about 50 hippies, nude colored flapper dresses, tie-dye galore, someone juggling?, dancing that includes jumping up and down, some sort of hula, and knee slapping?, and of course the floor length dresses with slits up to the boobs. I mean I know we're drinking, but I'm NOT drunk enough for this. A little girl appears on the stage.. with a hula hoop? She is literally drinking a coke while hula hooping. Me: "That poor girl should be at home sleeping!" Steph: "I mean how can you sleep when your parents are on shrooms."
9:30pm
Bartender, noticing our astonished looks: "Yes, this is really happening"
10:00pm
Steph takes out her crystals from her clutch and puts them all around her martini glass. Even their power can't bring us guys our own age.
10:30PM
New name for Sedona, Az: Meth Mountain.
10:45pm
Begin walk back to the hotel. Creepy guy: "Hey where you girls staying? Wanna ride?" Me to Steph: "RUNNNNNNNNN!" The crazies sure do follow us everywhere.
11:00pm
The vending machine gets boring so we go to the front desk to ask about ordering food. "Everything in Sedona closes at 9:00. When you come here you have to plan ahead for food." Steph: "How do you plan ahead for drunk hunger?"
11:15pm
Open the door to find my mom sleeping with one eye open and the lights on. We're drunk, hungry, and now peeing our pants from laughter. What a night!
11:30pm
Watch the finale of The Hills in bed while eating donuts. We don't get why people are amazed by the finale? I mean, they didn't even include Spencer and his crystal meth.. err I mean crystals.
11:55pm
sleep :)
Peace & Love (from the mecca of mysticism),
Francine
Albuquerque, NM ---->Sedona, Az
7:00am
Woken up by Scott, my cousin, packing and getting ready to leave for the airport.. who will we torture now?
7:10am
Continental breakfast.. We spot an Indian on crack getting up every 5 seconds for more food. "Um there is now orange juice all over the floor." Who are these people.
7:30 am
Scott leaves for the airport.. bye bye Andy Dick! Yes, more room in the car!
8:00 am
Back to the room to get ready for breakfast #2 with Steph's Aunt Virginia. Steph's convo with her dad on the phone: "I don't even know what she looks like." "Just hold up a sign with her name on it"
9:00am
Aunt Virginia is nice. She tells us all about her job at Wal Mart, her 15 pets, and the fact that she doesn't use computers ever. We're feeling lucky already today: It's Pie Rush Wednesday at the diner! Free pie with every meal after 10am. If I had a nickel for every time I said "You can't make this shit up..."
11:00am
Depart this hell hole of a hotel and get on the road to Sedona, Az. Albuquerque sure is a joke town. 6 more hours in the car? And I have to sit in the front? ughhh
12:30pm
Gallup, NM
Stop at the McDonalds to pee and get snack sized McFlurrys. Why can't you drink out of the McFlurry spoons? I don't get it. A bum asks me for money. Sorry I just spent it on a McFlurry. In the parking lot a kid is staring at me through his binocular shaped hands. Of course I put my hands up and make binoculars.. Steph does the same.
2:00pm
Winslow, Az
Pee at a truck stop. They sell cut off denim shirts turned into vests? Larry the Cable Guy heaven. "You girls sure are purrrrty." Sorry, truckers aren't my type. HOW DID THE BINOCULAR KID GET HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Unbelievable. I'm waiting for the Amish to jump out.
2:30pm
The guys in NM told us that Sedona was a mecca of mysticism. Steph googles Sedona... vortices? psychics? sage? deja vu? forces? Where are we going?
4:00pm
Sedona, Az
Cute hotel right in the middle of Sedona. The red rocks are amazingly beautiful. We get a map of the best vortices in Sedona. Screw star maps, we have a vortex map.
4:30pm
Back to the candle shop in Sedona. We buy some amazing candles! This place is one of a kind! what? they have one in San Diego? of course.
5:30pm
Mexican food sounds good so we head to Oaxaca. Looks legit. We order margaritas and baked chips (we're healthy remember?)
5:40pm
How did we get chewy stale chips? Waitress: "They're supposed to taste like that." Send those back and get the fried ones.
6:00pm
The empty tables around us fill up. Please dont tell me that bug eyed lady is going to let her 3 kids cry and scream for the next hour. OOMMGGG!!! I find shredded beef in my salad, hidden under some lettuce. Being a vegetarian is hard. Looks like we'll have to send back item #2. Everyone around us is doing the same. My only thought: Who will get food poisoning first?
6:15pm
Still giving evil eyes to the family of neglected screaming children. Unreal.
6:20pm
We miss Scott so we decide to text him to see what other celebrities he hasn't heard of..
Spencer Pratt? No
Kim Kardashian? kinda
6:30pm
Shop around a little. We go to a crystal shop to pick up a crystal- I mean, it's clear they have magical powers and we have to get some. As soon as I pick one up.. "The crystal has chosen you!" Well, looks like I have to buy it now. The crazy crystal lady tells us all about how to wash and care for our new crystal. I'm sorry, did I just adopt a child? "I wish we would've video taped your crystal information for our blog!" lady: "Well I have my own agenda so I wouldn't have allowed that." She must be hiding from the po-po.
6:32pm
Walk out of crystal shop and come face to face with crying baby family. Great, second de-ja vu of the day. The mecca of mysticism strikes again.
6:40pm
We enter the vortex shop and decide to get psychic readings. Steph asks about her career future (fingers crossed for no more golden spoon swirling!) and I ask about my love life. The psychic keeps closing her eyes and pausing. Mini strokes? Wake up lady I'm paying big bucks for this! The first love card I draw from the deck is a joker. God laughs. Flip one card. Close eyes. Flip another card. "WOW there is so much going on here!" Really? Because I just see that you're losing at solitaire.
7:20pm
Buy some rocks.. They each have a different made-up meaning. I get the love ones and steph gets the pregnancy ones. Don't ask. As I pay, another crystal crazy tells me that my eyes are unbelievably beautiful. According to her I shouldn't settle for any man who isn't rich or good-looking. I knew I was on the right path!
7:30 pm
Head back to the hotel. Steph runs up to the balcony to see the sun set- apparently this is the best time to feel the vortex. I'm parched so I head to the vending machine to get some water. $1.25 for a water? "Take my crinkled dollar, stupid machine!!!" grrr Push the button anyway and 2 water bottles come out. Two waters for $1.00??? VORTEX!!!!!
8:00pm
Jacuzzi. We take our crystals.
9:00pm
Get ready to go out.. What exactly is the attire for a vortex bar? Should I wear my crystal around my neck?
9:15pm
Walk to a martini bar.. it's dark "Where are we??" "Don't worry I have a flashlight app on my phone!' Follow the music to the bar. Order drinks and wander around until we find a seat. Picture this: about 50 hippies, nude colored flapper dresses, tie-dye galore, someone juggling?, dancing that includes jumping up and down, some sort of hula, and knee slapping?, and of course the floor length dresses with slits up to the boobs. I mean I know we're drinking, but I'm NOT drunk enough for this. A little girl appears on the stage.. with a hula hoop? She is literally drinking a coke while hula hooping. Me: "That poor girl should be at home sleeping!" Steph: "I mean how can you sleep when your parents are on shrooms."
9:30pm
Bartender, noticing our astonished looks: "Yes, this is really happening"
10:00pm
Steph takes out her crystals from her clutch and puts them all around her martini glass. Even their power can't bring us guys our own age.
10:30PM
New name for Sedona, Az: Meth Mountain.
10:45pm
Begin walk back to the hotel. Creepy guy: "Hey where you girls staying? Wanna ride?" Me to Steph: "RUNNNNNNNNN!" The crazies sure do follow us everywhere.
11:00pm
The vending machine gets boring so we go to the front desk to ask about ordering food. "Everything in Sedona closes at 9:00. When you come here you have to plan ahead for food." Steph: "How do you plan ahead for drunk hunger?"
11:15pm
Open the door to find my mom sleeping with one eye open and the lights on. We're drunk, hungry, and now peeing our pants from laughter. What a night!
11:30pm
Watch the finale of The Hills in bed while eating donuts. We don't get why people are amazed by the finale? I mean, they didn't even include Spencer and his crystal meth.. err I mean crystals.
11:55pm
sleep :)
Peace & Love (from the mecca of mysticism),
Francine
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Day 3
Day 3
7:30am:
Flagstaff, AZ
Finally a day to sleep in! Waking up at 7:30 never felt so good! Fran made me go get ready for breakfast or she was gonna FlipCam me still sleeping ☹ how rude.
8:00am:
We all head down to breakfast and enjoy a little oatmeal and yogurt.
8:30am:
We see the most well behaved children in our entire lives! They cleaned up after themselves and then cleared their parents’ plates. WHERE ARE WE? Oh wait…there is a lady next to us not wearing shoes and telling her child a blueberry muffin is a cupcake..back to reality.
8:35am
The well-behaved children want to give us cute rubber band braclets that mold back into shapes. Thanks kids! One problem: it only fits on my finger.
9:00am:
We have the luxury of getting ready today! That means I get to wash, blow-dry and straighten my hair. Here we come Albuquerque!
11:00am:
Still in Flagstaff and all glammed out. I guess it’s my turn to sit next to the driving nazi.
2:00pm:
Indian City, AZ
We stop at one of the Indian stand places. I mean honestly if I had a nickel for every one of these stands….”You want how much for a blanket?” Forget this..we are outta here!
6:00pm:
Albuquerque, NM
Finally pull into Albuquerque and head straight to the mall. Apparently they have the best Indian fry bread in town. Let me remind you, Fran just took me to get Indian fry bread at the food court in the Cottonwood mall.
6:15pm:
Food Court→Albuquerque, NM
Scott hasn’t heard of Hot Dog on a Stick. “Isn’t that just a corndog?” He also doesn’t know what Nordstroms, the Jersey Shore and Guidos are. “Scott, what year is it where you live?”
6:30pm:
Spotted: Paul Blart. Mall Cop.
6:45pm:
Kinkos trip. Fran and I get bored and decide to try and stick tape on Scotts back. “Hello: My Name is Andy Dick” mwhahaha.
7:00pm:
Pull into the Best Western near the airport. Not too shabby.
7:15pm:
So we got a “non-smoking” room, except the entire room reeks of smoke. “You want us to put the roll away bed where?!?”
9:30pm:
“Hey Fran, want to go to the Tiki Bar in downtown Albuquerque?”
9:31pm:
“What the heck are we gonna wear?”
9:50pm:
We get into the car and immediately a man starts knocking on the window. “FRAN DON”T ROLL THE WINDOW DOWN! REVERSE OUT OF HERE!”
9:52pm:
That was a close one.
10:30pm:
Well there is the Tiki Bar. Three cars out front. This looks promising.
10:33pm:
Wait..I see people and lights. Ok more bars. We park the car and walk over to a place called the 405 lounge. 1 person inside the bar and about 5 people on the patio. We walk in and there is a DJ talking but we cant see him. “God, is that you??”
10:45pm:
Of course the one guy with a rat tail needs to talk to us. At least it’s my birthday and we requested Lady Gaga.
11:15pm
One of the guys that works at this lounge must of seen the boredom on our faces because he just suggested we go to this place called “In Vibe”. We decide we will give it a shot.
11:30pm:
So Ive been googling this place for 15 minutes and nothing is coming up. Was the guy lying? Ohhh…wait….”Imbibe!” Being deaf can really hinder the process of finding another bar to go to.
So apparently they have VIP lines. “We don’t know whats going on. We aren’t from around here” This place is out of control. These people are dressed to go to the Vegas clubs—I’m talking curled hair, short dresses, and stripper heels. Well it’s ok I’m sure my True Religion shorts will fly.
11:45pm:
Fran insists on leaving but I decide to just wait out 10 more minutes and see if we can talk to some real New Mexico boys. Except the three oldest guys in the place decide to chat us up. Ones from London! Oh wait, that accents just fake.
12:15am:
After talking to these guys about puka shells, turquoise jewelry from China, and cannolis, we tell the guys to check out our blog and we peace out.
Keepin it real,
Steph
7:30am:
Flagstaff, AZ
Finally a day to sleep in! Waking up at 7:30 never felt so good! Fran made me go get ready for breakfast or she was gonna FlipCam me still sleeping ☹ how rude.
8:00am:
We all head down to breakfast and enjoy a little oatmeal and yogurt.
8:30am:
We see the most well behaved children in our entire lives! They cleaned up after themselves and then cleared their parents’ plates. WHERE ARE WE? Oh wait…there is a lady next to us not wearing shoes and telling her child a blueberry muffin is a cupcake..back to reality.
8:35am
The well-behaved children want to give us cute rubber band braclets that mold back into shapes. Thanks kids! One problem: it only fits on my finger.
9:00am:
We have the luxury of getting ready today! That means I get to wash, blow-dry and straighten my hair. Here we come Albuquerque!
11:00am:
Still in Flagstaff and all glammed out. I guess it’s my turn to sit next to the driving nazi.
2:00pm:
Indian City, AZ
We stop at one of the Indian stand places. I mean honestly if I had a nickel for every one of these stands….”You want how much for a blanket?” Forget this..we are outta here!
6:00pm:
Albuquerque, NM
Finally pull into Albuquerque and head straight to the mall. Apparently they have the best Indian fry bread in town. Let me remind you, Fran just took me to get Indian fry bread at the food court in the Cottonwood mall.
6:15pm:
Food Court→Albuquerque, NM
Scott hasn’t heard of Hot Dog on a Stick. “Isn’t that just a corndog?” He also doesn’t know what Nordstroms, the Jersey Shore and Guidos are. “Scott, what year is it where you live?”
6:30pm:
Spotted: Paul Blart. Mall Cop.
6:45pm:
Kinkos trip. Fran and I get bored and decide to try and stick tape on Scotts back. “Hello: My Name is Andy Dick” mwhahaha.
7:00pm:
Pull into the Best Western near the airport. Not too shabby.
7:15pm:
So we got a “non-smoking” room, except the entire room reeks of smoke. “You want us to put the roll away bed where?!?”
9:30pm:
“Hey Fran, want to go to the Tiki Bar in downtown Albuquerque?”
9:31pm:
“What the heck are we gonna wear?”
9:50pm:
We get into the car and immediately a man starts knocking on the window. “FRAN DON”T ROLL THE WINDOW DOWN! REVERSE OUT OF HERE!”
9:52pm:
That was a close one.
10:30pm:
Well there is the Tiki Bar. Three cars out front. This looks promising.
10:33pm:
Wait..I see people and lights. Ok more bars. We park the car and walk over to a place called the 405 lounge. 1 person inside the bar and about 5 people on the patio. We walk in and there is a DJ talking but we cant see him. “God, is that you??”
10:45pm:
Of course the one guy with a rat tail needs to talk to us. At least it’s my birthday and we requested Lady Gaga.
11:15pm
One of the guys that works at this lounge must of seen the boredom on our faces because he just suggested we go to this place called “In Vibe”. We decide we will give it a shot.
11:30pm:
So Ive been googling this place for 15 minutes and nothing is coming up. Was the guy lying? Ohhh…wait….”Imbibe!” Being deaf can really hinder the process of finding another bar to go to.
So apparently they have VIP lines. “We don’t know whats going on. We aren’t from around here” This place is out of control. These people are dressed to go to the Vegas clubs—I’m talking curled hair, short dresses, and stripper heels. Well it’s ok I’m sure my True Religion shorts will fly.
11:45pm:
Fran insists on leaving but I decide to just wait out 10 more minutes and see if we can talk to some real New Mexico boys. Except the three oldest guys in the place decide to chat us up. Ones from London! Oh wait, that accents just fake.
12:15am:
After talking to these guys about puka shells, turquoise jewelry from China, and cannolis, we tell the guys to check out our blog and we peace out.
Keepin it real,
Steph
Monday, July 12, 2010
Day 2
Day 2-
Flagstaff, Az ---->Page, Az---> Grand Canyon South Rim ---> Flagstaff, Az
4:05 am:
Wake up everyone!!!!! I roll over to take the pillow off of Steph's face... (she's not a morning person) and then start the normal morning routine: makeup, clothes, straighten hair. I mean, who doesn't straighten their hair at 4am to go on a river rafting excursion in the Grand Canyon?
4:30 am:
Everyone's waiting in the car, but Steph and I are still primping. Yawn. Did I mention it's crazy shirt day? My cousin wears a God shirt, Steph's says "I <3 the Southwest," and I'm rockin' the rainbow "Legalize Gay" tank. Mom went for a black top-- boo.
4:35am:
We begin the 2 1/2 hour drive to Page, Az to meet our tour guides and start this epic adventure. How did I end up in the front seat with the driving nazi? boooo again
5:45am:
Or 6:45 am as the Navajo like to call it. Apparently we ended up in a time warp/vortex/twilight zone where the Navajo decide to change their clocks to confuse tourists. One point for the Navajo! We thought we were going to be late for the raft, but luckily google was a saviour.
7:00am:
We have arrived in Page, Az! How do they have a Wal Mart Super Center? The world may never know! We see people waiting for our bus, no guys between the ages of 18-25. Trust me, we asked. Steph and I walked back to the car to get food and we met a bum who wanted money, food, and a ride to Salt Lake City. He wasn't between the ages of 18-25 either.
7:30am:
We are traveling under the Earth's surface in a tunnel that goes to the dam. I wish the bus driver would stop talking and focus on the road... Steph asks Scott "Have you ever been under the Earth's surface, in a time vortex, eating jicama, with 2 girls from California, singing 'California Gurls'?" My poor cousin is sheltered.
7:40am:
Ummm apparently we have to wear hard hats when we get to the loading dock.. it's under the bridge at the dam and I don't want a falling penny or depressed person to ruin my hair do. Fantastic.
8:00am:
We are situated in a pontoon boat with a bunch of boring people. It's beautiful out, we're in the Colorado River in Glen Canyon by the dam. Too many damn dam jokes to remember. The water is 46* and its about 80* out. BEAUTIFUL! The view is surreal, and our boat guide is clearly on something. He asks if we have any questions, Steph: "WHAT TIME IS ITTTTTTT?" This should be interesting...
9:00am:
Tour guide has told us all about the Wal Mart Super Center, his second job as a "medicine man" (he told us where to get the best peyote) and basically every aspect of his life until now. Prime example of why people should go to college- he's used the word "tooken" about 30 times so far.
10:30am:
We reach a little beach where we can get a close up look at some Native American rock paintings or carvings or something. We're dared to go in the freezing water, but I just straightened my hair, and Steph got her nails done. Bummer. Steph asks if there is cell service because she needs to check Perez, no one laughs hahahah.
12:15pm:
Back in Page after an hour bus drive. Off to Subway to watch some people neglect their children and order footlongs with extra sauce. I got a salad. muhaha
1:30pm:
We decide to go to the South Rim of the Grand Canyon to get a better view... 2 hour drive? Steph sits in the front this time so i don't have to navigate.
3:30pm:
THE AMISH FROM SIZZLER HAVE FOLLOWED US!!! Did they take a horse and buggy to the South Rim? Possibly. Stalkers!
4:30pm:
Steph calls my mom Howard because she keeps pulling off at every stop along the rim. It all looks the same to me! We find the place that Brit Brit filmed "I'm not a girl/not yet a woman" and we play "gay or european" with the weirdos who pass by. Everyone stares at my "Legalize Gay" shirt. I'm a spectacle.
5:15pm
My cousin has taken up beatboxing. We don't know how to handle this. What exactly do they DO in Oklahoma??
Head back toward Flagstaff, Az. Arrive around 7:00pm. Apparently my cousin took pictures of me sleeping in the car. Freakin' paparazzi. Now time to shower and decide on dinner...
9:00pm:
OLIVE GARDEN. Steph asks for the nutritional information and we laugh at people who ordered hundreds of grams of fat wrapped in noodles and cheese. We eat salad. We're from California.
10:00pm:
After a short trip to Walgreens for Tums we get back to the hotel room to see everyone asleep. Party poopers. Looks like this blog will have to be written in the bathroom!
Keepin' it classy,
Francine
Flagstaff, Az ---->Page, Az---> Grand Canyon South Rim ---> Flagstaff, Az
4:05 am:
Wake up everyone!!!!! I roll over to take the pillow off of Steph's face... (she's not a morning person) and then start the normal morning routine: makeup, clothes, straighten hair. I mean, who doesn't straighten their hair at 4am to go on a river rafting excursion in the Grand Canyon?
4:30 am:
Everyone's waiting in the car, but Steph and I are still primping. Yawn. Did I mention it's crazy shirt day? My cousin wears a God shirt, Steph's says "I <3 the Southwest," and I'm rockin' the rainbow "Legalize Gay" tank. Mom went for a black top-- boo.
4:35am:
We begin the 2 1/2 hour drive to Page, Az to meet our tour guides and start this epic adventure. How did I end up in the front seat with the driving nazi? boooo again
5:45am:
Or 6:45 am as the Navajo like to call it. Apparently we ended up in a time warp/vortex/twilight zone where the Navajo decide to change their clocks to confuse tourists. One point for the Navajo! We thought we were going to be late for the raft, but luckily google was a saviour.
7:00am:
We have arrived in Page, Az! How do they have a Wal Mart Super Center? The world may never know! We see people waiting for our bus, no guys between the ages of 18-25. Trust me, we asked. Steph and I walked back to the car to get food and we met a bum who wanted money, food, and a ride to Salt Lake City. He wasn't between the ages of 18-25 either.
7:30am:
We are traveling under the Earth's surface in a tunnel that goes to the dam. I wish the bus driver would stop talking and focus on the road... Steph asks Scott "Have you ever been under the Earth's surface, in a time vortex, eating jicama, with 2 girls from California, singing 'California Gurls'?" My poor cousin is sheltered.
7:40am:
Ummm apparently we have to wear hard hats when we get to the loading dock.. it's under the bridge at the dam and I don't want a falling penny or depressed person to ruin my hair do. Fantastic.
8:00am:
We are situated in a pontoon boat with a bunch of boring people. It's beautiful out, we're in the Colorado River in Glen Canyon by the dam. Too many damn dam jokes to remember. The water is 46* and its about 80* out. BEAUTIFUL! The view is surreal, and our boat guide is clearly on something. He asks if we have any questions, Steph: "WHAT TIME IS ITTTTTTT?" This should be interesting...
9:00am:
Tour guide has told us all about the Wal Mart Super Center, his second job as a "medicine man" (he told us where to get the best peyote) and basically every aspect of his life until now. Prime example of why people should go to college- he's used the word "tooken" about 30 times so far.
10:30am:
We reach a little beach where we can get a close up look at some Native American rock paintings or carvings or something. We're dared to go in the freezing water, but I just straightened my hair, and Steph got her nails done. Bummer. Steph asks if there is cell service because she needs to check Perez, no one laughs hahahah.
12:15pm:
Back in Page after an hour bus drive. Off to Subway to watch some people neglect their children and order footlongs with extra sauce. I got a salad. muhaha
1:30pm:
We decide to go to the South Rim of the Grand Canyon to get a better view... 2 hour drive? Steph sits in the front this time so i don't have to navigate.
3:30pm:
THE AMISH FROM SIZZLER HAVE FOLLOWED US!!! Did they take a horse and buggy to the South Rim? Possibly. Stalkers!
4:30pm:
Steph calls my mom Howard because she keeps pulling off at every stop along the rim. It all looks the same to me! We find the place that Brit Brit filmed "I'm not a girl/not yet a woman" and we play "gay or european" with the weirdos who pass by. Everyone stares at my "Legalize Gay" shirt. I'm a spectacle.
5:15pm
My cousin has taken up beatboxing. We don't know how to handle this. What exactly do they DO in Oklahoma??
Head back toward Flagstaff, Az. Arrive around 7:00pm. Apparently my cousin took pictures of me sleeping in the car. Freakin' paparazzi. Now time to shower and decide on dinner...
9:00pm:
OLIVE GARDEN. Steph asks for the nutritional information and we laugh at people who ordered hundreds of grams of fat wrapped in noodles and cheese. We eat salad. We're from California.
10:00pm:
After a short trip to Walgreens for Tums we get back to the hotel room to see everyone asleep. Party poopers. Looks like this blog will have to be written in the bathroom!
Keepin' it classy,
Francine
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Day 1
Day 1-
Indio, CA---->;Flagstaff, AZ
4:30am:
Woke up on a pull out sofa next to my lesbian lover--err, I mean best friend Francine, in a hurry to make it out to the car by 5:00am
5:00am:
In the cramped car. 88* outside. Kill me.
5:15am:
Fell asleep.
8:45am:
Glendale, AZ--pulled off the highway into a Dunkin-Donuts parking lot--HEAVEN!! Haven't had Dunkin Donuts since my Boston trip circa 2008. Eat a "weight watcher friendly" breakfast. Get back in car. 92*. Is this a joke?!
11:45am:
Slide Rock Canyon-->Sedona, AZ
Best thing about the trip so far! Sedona has beautiful red rocks surrounding the city of Sedona. Point of Sedona--find moss covered rocks to scrape your butt on--> I mean find a national park that offers a natural water slide. How cool is that?
Indio, CA---->;Flagstaff, AZ
4:30am:
Woke up on a pull out sofa next to my lesbian lover--err, I mean best friend Francine, in a hurry to make it out to the car by 5:00am
5:00am:
In the cramped car. 88* outside. Kill me.
5:15am:
Fell asleep.
8:45am:
Glendale, AZ--pulled off the highway into a Dunkin-Donuts parking lot--HEAVEN!! Haven't had Dunkin Donuts since my Boston trip circa 2008. Eat a "weight watcher friendly" breakfast. Get back in car. 92*. Is this a joke?!
11:45am:
Slide Rock Canyon-->Sedona, AZ
Best thing about the trip so far! Sedona has beautiful red rocks surrounding the city of Sedona. Point of Sedona--find moss covered rocks to scrape your butt on--> I mean find a national park that offers a natural water slide. How cool is that?
1:30pm:
Slide Rock Canyon----> Sedona, AZ
So we have gone down this slippery rock thing a few times. Almost died a couple of times but havent yet.
2:00pm:
Slide Rock Canyon---->Sedona, AZ
Given up on sliding down this natural water slide. Decide instead to watch people with no brains nearly kill their children (example: father holding child in arms while walking on slippery moss rocks..did I mention he was holding a Coors?)
3:00pm:
Sedona, AZ
Decide to get lunch on the main street. Fran and I split a Portabello mushroom sandwich. Yummy :)
4:00pm:
Sedona, AZ
Raining cats and dogs in Sedona but it looks beautiful up against the Red Rocks. Found the coolest store that sells handmade candles that when held under a light glow different colors! We are definitely coming back to pick some of these up!
Slide Rock Canyon----> Sedona, AZ
So we have gone down this slippery rock thing a few times. Almost died a couple of times but havent yet.
2:00pm:
Slide Rock Canyon---->Sedona, AZ
Given up on sliding down this natural water slide. Decide instead to watch people with no brains nearly kill their children (example: father holding child in arms while walking on slippery moss rocks..did I mention he was holding a Coors?)
3:00pm:
Sedona, AZ
Decide to get lunch on the main street. Fran and I split a Portabello mushroom sandwich. Yummy :)
4:00pm:
Sedona, AZ
Raining cats and dogs in Sedona but it looks beautiful up against the Red Rocks. Found the coolest store that sells handmade candles that when held under a light glow different colors! We are definitely coming back to pick some of these up!
5:45pm:
Flagstaff, AZ
Pull in to Flagstaff. Comfortable 65*. Next adventure= WALMART!!
Flagstaff, AZ
Pull in to Flagstaff. Comfortable 65*. Next adventure= WALMART!!
8:30pm:
Flagstaff, AZ
Hurry Fran, Sizzler closes in 30 minutes!! We go to Sizzler for dinner and of course there is an Amish couple sitting next to us..you may ask "how did they get here?" Well we don't have the answer but we asked the sameeee question! I forgot to mention, we asked it outloud.
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